Scientists dispelled the myth of happy marriages – Medikforum.ru

The desire to ensure that marriage is consistent with the highest standards, can destroy a relationship, rather than strengthen them, because of the frustration caused by the mismatch between expectations and reality. This conclusion psychologists published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, which tells about the next study the causes of the collapse of marriage.

myths about happy marriage

The authors of the new work, experts from the University of Florida, summarized, on the basis of work with couples suite: do not expect too much from marriage! Many spouses engaging in formal relations, expect their marriage doubtless improve their own situation and constant care and support of the partner. Although the pursuit of happiness and harmony is considered to be the main achievement of the marriage bond and the evidence of their trustworthiness – this notion of marriage, according to psychologists, is inflated expectation

Psychologists attracted to participate in a study of 135 pairs of newlyweds, who have passed. special testing, evaluating people’s expectations of marriage, spouses and their satisfaction with the seriousness of the existing problems in their marriage. In addition, all of the young couple took part in the discussions on the topics of marriage, which were recorded on video. In future husbands and wives for another four years, every six months participated in the survey, to identify their level of satisfaction with their relationships.

As a result, experts have concluded that the majority of people in marriage tend to be inflated expectations – for example, in respect of a spouse coming from care and support, as well as on the independence of the partners in a marriage. According to psychologists, some spouses require too much of marriage, seeing marriage as a way to compensate for what they themselves could not reach beyond their due to the lack of some resources. Thus, they are faced with a mismatch between their expectations and the reality that damaging

to a marriage.

«No marriage is like another. People differ in their compatibility, communication skills, how they react to stressful situations. All of this plays a role in how successful will the marriage, and what can be expected from each partner. Our data suggest that people should pre-determine for themselves what they want from marriage before engaging in it. Assess your strengths and weaknesses and to develop standards in accordance with them. It is not easy, which explains why couples are faced with a mismatch of their expectations and the reality, “- cites the opinion of the scientists in the journal.

The study found that the concept of marriage as something happy and prosperous benefited only those couples who were initially strong and problem-free relations. For people whose relations with the beginning full of contradictions and hostility, high demands regarding marriage are destructive force, the researchers believe. (READ MORE)

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