Scientists have figured out how to keep the family together – BBC

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What is the girl thinking after boyfriend proposed to her? The fact that after the wedding, life will sparkle with bright colors, and it will be the happiest wife in the world. Now US scientists have proved: if the place for the next marriage too high expectations, it promises to be short-lived. The text of the study can be available in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

In the experiment, was attended by 135 young couples from Tennessee -. State in the east of the US

within four years, the couple had to meet with psychologists, and record how they are satisfied with family life and the behavior of their halves

researchers concluded.: couples who initially expect from marriage too much and thought that after the wedding, life will change dramatically for the better, more often quarreled and even divorced. “Some people require too much of marriage, they think, Hoops, will find something that could not be obtained without a partner – says the researchers. – But in the end they are just frustrated. But people who do not expect anything special family life may be pleasantly surprised. Thus, one can not expect from the marriage of what he is not able to bring. Therefore, we recommend that couples who have decided to link their lives by family ties, to soberly assess the situation and understand what can be life after the wedding, »

In addition, in the course of the study, researchers saw.: from marriage more waiting just for the fair sex, they also, by the way, are more inclined to idealize the future husband

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Before the start of family life, some participants also reported that they believe: a potential husband after the wedding is sure to become more truly caring and will earn more money and even completely revise their interests. Almost all the girls argue similarly, was disappointed.

By the way, earlier psychologists from the University of Florida in Tallahassee developed test of love, or as it is called themselves, test happiness. It can help you learn about the feelings that the couple subconsciously feel for each other. Development of the test lasted four years and began with the fact that scientists have proposed nearly 200 couples who had just legalized their relationship, to answer two questions. The first question was about the feelings of a spouse (wife) – As expected, all the couple responded to him the same way.

After that each newlyweds for a split second showed a photo of his wife, and then asked to quickly assess the positive or negative is some of the words, such as “good”, “bad”, “satisfactory”, “unsatisfactory”, “horrible” or “beautiful».

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The preliminary survey, as might be expected, showed the same results in each case : the couple talked about each other only in very warm colors, and often even enthusiastic. However, during the subsequent test with pictures of couples have been identified, where it is not all plain sailing with mutual relations. Subsequently, all the pairs participating in the experiment, every six months for several years invited for interview. It was found in this case that the people have demonstrated in the first test, a negative reaction to the photo partner on average were unhappy in marriage, some of these couples and all fell apart.

The other group of scientists found that the couples met online, divorced less than the couple who met each other “offline”. In the study, psychologists have analyzed data about the life of 19 thousand. Spouses who met with their halves in the internet and “in real life».

It turned out that the couple met each other in the vast World Wide web, not only less likely to get divorced, but also feel much happier.

Scientists believe that the success of online dating is the fact that users of sites have to lay out a huge amount of information themselves that allows them to learn more about the future of their loved ones before the first date.